4/13/19
Lead In: Thrown Out By The Lady

“A sharp pain strikes your eyes as your body is forced to adjust to the bright light of Sigil’s busy streets. Moments ago your pouches jingled, heavy with treasure; now, they feel empty. You’ve been teleported, cast out by The Lady herself from the vault which you so shrewdly weaseled your way into. You may have deceived her guards but The Lady of Pain seemed no woman to be trifled with. Blood still drips from the gruesome collection of wounds that cover Mukluk’s face - a punishment for his flippant tongue. When the imprisoned god Aoskar was freed from his binding within her treasure room, she appeared, glaring down upon you. Desperate for answers, she chose to spare your lives in exchange for a service: discover the cause for the god’s diminished powers - knowledge she might use to revitalize her captive love. Sammy looks down at her hand and finds herself clutching a perplexing staff - a gift to ensure the success of The Lady’s edict. As you consider your orders, you remember Korolax’s request for an ancient tome. You are reminded of indescribable horrors; the old ones, the ancient ones, the eyes within. Could a book really bring an end to the impending torment these creatures bring? Flesh that is not flesh, but stars and madness. It’s just a book! But to reach this tome requires a trip through the outlands - the plane between planes, ever spinning heart, crowned by the city of Sigil. Through the city of Rigus, the gatetown of the lower plane of Acheron, the infernal battlefield.”

Summary of Session: Decide to gather information about the gods being weakened before going on Korolax’s quest. Ruby rolls a 1 and hears a tale from a bard about the gods getting so intoxicated that the dragons took over. Bull. Sammy talks to the woman in Sigil who trades secrets for secrets and learns 1,000 years ago (almost exactly now) explorers adventures into the outer edges of the planes. When they returned they isolated themselves. The gods began to weaken and the dragons became more powerful. Mukluk has a chat with Ostogoth who tells him about Garl GlitterGold, god and shepard of the gnomes Un asks a drunken Khajit on the street about the fall of the Gods. The conversation goes, “Hey buddy, want some skooma?” Un says “No.” Guy says, “Ok bye.” Un says “Wait no! You haven’t told me anything about the gods!” which he never asked. HAHA. Finds out some bull. Everyone shares their stories and realizes they have very different information. Who’s is correct? Mukluk is being followed and is engaged by the Harmonium on counts of several crimes. Harmonium guy throws the first punch. Mukluk dominates him(Lieutenant Andrezhej [Andre]). Party Travels through portal to Rigus, wears slate plate necklaces Homer is going to bribe Mukluk with a Bartan Flesh Golem Sammie and Mukluk got smashed(alcohol, not giants)

5/4/19
Lead In: Hungover and Haunted

“In and out. Deep breathes. The sun begins to rise over the quiet city as Un meditates on the rooftop of the inn. The strict lines of the war camps before him help to align his mind, lines of order amongst the chaos of the planes. The smells of tanning acids and blade oils drift up from below. As the colors in the sky begin to fade back to blue, Un flips and leaps back to the windowsill of the room and finds Hela sharpening her blade next to a bowl of fruit. The two of them munch on their breakfast as they survey the room. Ruby’s bunk creeks as she rocks back and forth, muttering whispers to herself and staring blankly at the wall. “Old man… Old man… Just a book… It’s just a book...” The mess of blankets that covered Mukluk are suddenly thrown into the air as he desperately drapes himself over the edge of his bed, retching as he lunges for the chamber pot. Moments later, a figure floats through the door, not even bothering twist the handle and steps across the room in his shining armor. “Good Morrow, my good friends!” states Sir Mixalot, beckoning a smile and a wave from Un and Hela. Sammie moans loudly, pressing her hands to her head in attempts to ease the throbbing headache. BOOM! CLINK! SLASH! *CAT ALARM! The door swings open releasing 10 traps at once. Homer stumbles back a bit watching them all go. “Wow! Who were those meant for?” Sammie moans louder. He looks around at the group, steps into the room and exclaims proudly with his hands on his hips, “Well, time for an adventure?””

Summary of Session: The gang goes down to the bar and finds breakfast. Ruby eats a full meal while Mukluk and Sammie try to drink away their hangovers. Un grabs a glass of super pure water. Homer offers up flesh golem Barten as a gift, revealing that Homer works for Vartus. The gang plans to kill Homer and Chug when they get outside of the city. “Alright Homer, we’re friends! Let’s go!” - Mukluk Angels intercept the group, noticing Ruby’s red cape. The angels demand that Ruby, the Rider in Red return to her post instead of running around with Korolax’s filthy minions. Ruby convinces the angels to give her more time and they walk away. Sammie casts Buzzing Bee on the angels while they walk away. Mukluk steps on the grass and the Mercykiller Officers asks how he pleads. Sammie and his cat Ash attacks with Prismatic Rays. FIGHT!

5/18/19
Lead In: New “Friendships”

“As the nausea of teleportation begins to wear off, you look to your surroundings. You’ve made it to the threshold of a looming Iron Fortress. You are met with a huge wall constructed of metal plates with no other entry points than a single archway guarded by a Tiefling soldier. You are studying the monumental structure when you begin to hear unpleasant noises coming from something behind you. You turn and see Gwop, a sad scrunched look on his face as he cradles his belly with his hands. His body jolts forward as he begins to gag and heave toward you. Ruby pulls out her shield in anticipation of bodily fluids and THUD! She’s pushed back by the weight of two grown men slapping into her shield. Mukluk and Barten stand and begin to wipe the slobber from their faces. With a wave, Mukluk says “did you guys remember there were ants in there?” Gwop burps and smiles.

You begin to ask yourself, why is this giant ogre following us again? After Un invited two new friends to join the party (Homer and Chug), the rest of the gang quickly plotted for their assassination. Upon entering the cave that leads to the portal out of Rigus, you make your move on the very charming and annoying Homer and his demonic buddy. During the fight, Hela was swallowed up by an ogre that stomped out of the cave. Within his expansive belly, Hela spoke with the sparkling Garl Glittergold, god of the gnomes. Garl warned Hela of the selfishness that motivates the dragons and hopes to convince her not to follow them. Among the bile that lines Gwop’s stomach, Garl notices a twinkle in the gunk and gifts Hela a vial with a seed inside. Then, poof, he was gone. Sir Mixalot watches with a sad look in his eye as the fight concludes; Chug is banished and Homer is left for dead. It takes much convincing from Mukluk for Un to stop fighting the unsightly abomination that is flesh golem Barten, but he does stop. The party hops through the portal, talks to a spider-rider, and Sammie teleports the Exalted Bunch to the location of the fortress’ door guard, Mortuareaeu (More-twar). And here you are, a slobbery mess, ready to claim Emparagon’s Elder Tome.”

9/14/19
Lead In: The Gilded Princes

Our party braved once again the twisting gilded hallways leading to the hall of the Gilded Princes. They twisted and warped, walls bleeding slightly, as the party made their way past wet paper-mache manaquins bearing their own faces and filled with dessicated flesh.

Just approaching the Gilded princes brought out a dizzying effect in our heroes, a coppery taste to the air and a sense of floating through a greasy haze. Their bodies impossible to fully grasp in the mind, at once the size of giants and immense enough to span worlds. One a terrible, corpulent ogre, gilded in patina’d gold, half its face appearing chitinous, oozing and frenetic when viewed in your peripheries. The other, a thin colossus, a twisted hermaphroditic armor over chunking, whirring gears, wheezing with some sick internal life, intermittently coughing a viscous milky fluid from it joints. Unspeaking, they tested the heroes, shifting the very nature of the arena as their samurai servants slashed into the party, leaching some unknown energy from their very souls.

They made him to cut apples, sword on his back, I like that. Only way to beat him was to write a hack, experiencing his memories. His childhood in an orchard, his education in biochemical engineering, his kidnaping and conditioning into a toy for an ancient civilization, an oddity, an experiment, programmed with the flippent task of destroying his master’s least favorite childhood food, across a galaxy.

Blade of Grass; Hela struck his heart from his chest.

Un and Mukkluk both attempted to harm the Gilded Princes, to varrying degrees of failure. Muk had his own wrathful, destructive spell reflected back upon himself, gasping and smiling slightly as his features began to turn to ash and drift beyond perception ”So, what that spell does” a slight glimmer in his eye, the last bit of him to vanish from reality.

9/28/19
Lead In: An End to Imperagon

“Our previous session began with a teleport to Rigus, a decision Sammie swiftly made and executed without consultation. During the teleport, Gwop is lost. His madness compels him to sprint away from the party, almost jumping off a cliff into teleporty ebbis, only to be brought to safety in Ruby’s strong arms. In Rigus, the party pays a hefty sum to revive Mukluk. The party does a lot of shopping and while they are hanging out, Sir Mix A Lot returns as if he had never died. Another teleport to the entrance of the Iron Fortress leads to a fight with 3 Mortys. The party makes quick work of them and then heads up the final staircase in the Pit of Toil. Upon walking up the stairs, Ruby notices the tail of a steel predator exiting behind a curtain. At the top of the steps, a trap is activated and a bright light shines. All the enemies become aware of the party and not surprise when Sammie and Mukluk whip back the curtain and cast area attacks, thinking that they have the jump on the room. SO MANY enemies fill the room; what you thought you could handle, proves to be an overwhelming challenge.

As the flaming blade of Imperagon’s sword strikes Sir Mix A Lot’s armor, a flash of light emits from the hit and his wound begins to pour out bits of his ghostly ectoplasm. He cries out as the fibers of his ethereal being disperse and fade to nothing. His image begins to flicker and weaken. With fear in his eyes, he turns to flee the fight escaping through the wall. Imperagon booms with vicious laughter, turning to face the rest of the party wild with confidence. His eyes begin to change - the yellow iris of in his eyes begin to swirl to black until there is nothing left but darkness and stars. With a brief moment, each of the enemies have changed; their eyes have become lifeless and endless in depth. You know you are once again battling the Old Ones. Could a book really bring an end to the impending torment these creatures bring?”